The inability to secure a reservation drives yuppies absolutely crazy. - Waiter Rant
Dating's like going on a job interview. You don't know if you'll get the job, but if you do, you get to see the interviewee naked. - Waiter Rant
My mom grew up in Spanish Harlem and the Bronx and gave me an invaluable piece of advice for dealing with people in New York - if someone's bugging you just act crazy. I've modified her approach somewhat. Public displays of religiosity work just as well as feigning psychosis. - Waiter Rant
Angels dancing on the head of a pin dissolve into nothingness at the bedside of a dying child. - Waiter Rant